finding a balance

finally, a quiet moment to myself. how long will it last? i better start writing... so my design work has really been monopolizing my time lately. i am very grateful for having many jobs, especially in economic times like these yet i tend to refrain from saying "no." this always leads to an overwhelmed state. i am trying my hardest to turn down jobs  - not only because i need sleep but because my girls need me. in the midst of this chaos of my day i hear a little voice saying "why are you doing this? what is truly important here? do we really need the money this badly?" i don't know the answer. atleast not yet. 

what i do know is that when i am not working, i feel i am not contributing (crazy, i know). i feel that i am losing my identity as a designer. i feel annoyed when i have to ask for money to go food shopping. the same old stay-at-home mom story. i'm sure all you mom's have the dilemma. i want to stay home with the kids/i want to continue my career. it's like we are either under-stimulated or overworked. where is the balance? i am still trying to find it.